Friday, September 1, 2017


The single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth writes on today's eligible educated Indian bachelorettes holding professional degrees and employed in MNC's,  IT firms and big corporations at good designations looking for soul mates on matrimonial sites and other online platforms.

Now if you are a 30 plus single Indian man looking to get married and have registered themselves on matrimonial sites, you are going to come across women who are also 30 plus and majority of the profiles will be something like this:

I am blah blah blah blah having done my bachelors from some an A grade college , masters , again from some A grade college holding the qualification of an MBA, CA, LLB, IT, doctor or engineer located in a teir-1 city working for some big organization holding the designation of a Team leader, Vice-President or Senior Manager or some fancy designation decided by the organization's corporate HR. The salary per an-um will be anywhere between Rs 8 Lakhs (starting) to Rs 20 Lakhs and more.All these women are  globetrotters having traveled across different places in the world.

I am sure that many eligible single Indian men reading this post have definitely come across such profiles. What would you do? Consider them? If there is an iota of dignity and self respect left within you, I am sure that you will never consider them.

When you go through the profiles of such women it feels like you are reading someone's professional background similar to the ones posted on LinkedIn profiles.

What do we men really want? Do we want career oriented women having fancy designations who cannot offer any warmth, love and affection? Do these women really care about someone other than themselves or their careers? Not being judgmental but a majority of these women are so driven by a strong narcissistic element to look good and beautiful that they are often seen in the gym, beauty parlors and at cosmetic clinics.

This is not what we Indian men are looking for. We are looking for a real woman, a woman who can turn a house into a home, a woman who can offer us love, warmth and affection, a woman who can cook good food and feed us. Isn't cooking a meal for someone equivalent to expressing love.

The women about whom I have mentioned  often complain they are not able to find suitable men. It is sad to see them live a life filled with delusion.The truth is that no one wants to marry them as they are on a high pedestal. Men look for women who can bring value addition in a marriage and sadly speaking these women can't.

The feminists and feminazis may find my writings misogynist but I am portraying the reality.Have a look at the statistics of single Indian women especially in urban cities and you will come to know that it is these women who have been left out, have become left overs and are perpetually single.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Thursday, August 31, 2017

Indian women oscillate between extremes of patriarchy and femisnism for their own benefits-BHAVEEN SHETH INDIAN MGTOW

At present there is an all out war going on between the patriarchs and feminists in India.The old patriarchal system is now being challenged by the new feminist order.More and more women are defying the rules imposed by the Indian society.The Indian feminist women have spearheaded freedom and liberation for Indian women.

REALLY!!!!!This is a question I would like to ask my readers.Are the Indian women (the so called modern and liberalized) women truly liberated and independent as they proclaim.I have my doubts.

The feminists in the west are independent.They live their lives on their own terms.They work hard,earn a living and pay for their own EMI's on things they buy and assert their individuality.Even if they get married they remain the same and equally contribute as a partner in marriage.

This is certainly not the case with the Indian women.The modern and liberated women make the best use of the misogynist and feminists systems to gain advantage and meet their own vested interests and desires.In the points mentioned below, one will easily understand why they do it.

1. Many women are getting educated or over educated just to get a well qualified groom who earns a handsome salary. Even if these women have a job, they quit it post marriage stating that it is now the responsibility of the husband to take care of them.

2.These women want extreme freedom and extreme protection. They want to go to discotheques and late night parties wearing miniskirts and see through clothes, they want to get drunk, they want to try pot(weed) and get stoned and yet they want the society,the police and the administration to protect them during such dark hours when sexual predators are lurking around waiting to take advantage of a vulnerable prey. I remember, a few years back when Jamia University put restrictions on female students at girls hostel where they were expected to report back by 8 PM.This lead to a huge out cry by young feminist girls who protested by stating that their freedom was being restricted and selective gender discrimination was being practiced by the university. The University authorities had invoked this rule in the wake of the cases of gang rapes and molestations happening in and around Delhi.But see what happened!! A step taken up for the safety of young girls lead to a massive feminist outcry.

3.At workplace too, some women resort to dubious practices. They claim that they are independent and career oriented but deep down they carry a patriarchal mindset.Ask them to stay beyond work hours and they will cite infinite reasons not to, the first one being that of being that they have plenty of responsibilities at home and the fact that they have to juggle between office and work. If a male reporting officer is slightly strict with a female subordinate or were he to give her a honest appraisal based on her poor performance, this woman would go an file a case of sexual harassment against him clearly knowing that it would be ruled in her favour. So much for being a career oriented woman.

4.Marriage is important for all Indian women. Gone are those days when a couple would adjust in a marriage.The feminist Indian women want everything for themselves. The will never marry a man who is having qualifications and earning a salary lower to them.They will even refuse to marry a man who is equal to them. They want the best even though they may be just average or mediocre. As I have mentioned in my previous blog posts, these women love rejecting prospective suitors as they feel that such matches are pathetic. And mind you, these women are educated, earn a good salary and have everything to their disposal and yet they want a guy who is on a higher pedestal both on the social and economic front.Wow! So much for empowerment. In Indian marriages a husband is expected to take up three major responsibilities of being a provider, protector care taker.

Let us not forget of the actual marriage ceremony or what I would say as the big fat Indian wedding. Almost all urban Indian women want a lavish wedding for themselves, they suddenly go on a splurge mode.They will go to the extent of forcing their parents to spend enormous sums of money. Can't these women have a simple marriage? Can't they go for a court marriage?No! These women want the best when it comes to their marriage, it is all about themselves.

5.I now draw the attention of my readers to the social evil of dowry that has been existing in our society for centuries.Education was supposed to reform the society but it did not. The dowry problem has got magnified in India and to a great extent these so called educated liberalized Indian women are responsible for it.In my previous writings I have clearly stated that these Indian women want the best in their grooms. In reality these grooms come at a price and the name of that price is dowry. Many women force their parents to pay up a hefty dowry in order to get married to grooms who earn well. If the marriage turns sour , these women file false cases under their husbands and in-laws under the legal provision of dowry harassment and domestic violence.These women start behaving like victims and accuse their in-laws of torture and harassment.

6. So now lets talk about sex, one of the most controversial issues within the Indian marriage system.Just recently the Indian feminists had demanded a law to be made for marital rape. They want sex within a marriage to be made into a criminal offense. Within a marriage Indian women can deny sex to their husbands, some of them even stray and have extra marital affairs claiming that they are not satisfied with their husbands. And if a man were to do the same he gets accused of adultery.

7.I talk on home responsibilities: Today's Indian women have become allergic at doing housework.Armed with an education and a job, they feel it is below their dignity to do housework.Their first priority after marriage is to hire a maid. Thirty years ago the concept of hiring a maid was restricted only to the rich class.But today even middle class families that run on a tight financial budget hire a house maid. All because of the arrogant women. They won't mop the floors, dust the rooms, cook food and wash dishes.And if you go to the pasts of these women into their childhoods and teenage years , you will realize that they have done all these things.Even in Western countries educated working women do their own housework, they don't hire any maids.

I strongly believe that a couple should be equal partners in the institution of marriage. But is it really so? Not at all. Post marriage many Indian women try to take an upper hand in the marriage.For them marriage is all about independence and liberation. They want their husbands to get them what they want. Another thing observed is that post marriage these women quit their jobs and become stay at home wives.They state that post marriage it is the responsibility of the husband to take care of his wife.They will just not work. Now tell me how do you expect a person to be an equal partner in a marriage if she cannot contribute financially? 

From a strong independent feminist Indian woman who holds a job and earns a decent salary to a full time sit at home wife who claims that as per traditional patriarchal system it is the duty of the husband to take care of his wife. BRAVO INDIAN WOMEN!!! GREAT GOING.

Concluding my post, I draw the attention of my readers on how the Indian women are taking advantage of feminism and patriarchy. This is the true face of so many so called educated modern Indian women. This my friends is a sad reality of our great nation.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

When every Indian female divorcee has the same goddamn story-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

This Single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth writes on divorced Indian women.Many divorcees opt for a second marriage and if they are questioned on the reasons for getting divorced, they all have one common story. Having met and interacted with many divorcees myself through online matrimonial sites and having heard the stories of many Indian men who have met divorcees for a possible matrimonial alliance, I summarise the commonly repeated stories told by Indian female divorcees.

The divorcee woman will first and foremost always complain about her former husband. She will make him sound like a villain.He will be portrayed as a sadist who had no emotions, remorse or forgiveness.So what was really wrong with him? Well, he was wicked, he used to beat and abuse his spouse, he resorted to physical violence, he was mentally unstable, he was an alcoholic/drug addict/chain smoker, he was a sex maniac and watched pornography 24*7.he was kinky and sadist in the bedroom, he was impotent, he had low self esteem, he suffered from depression,he was not adequately qualified, he could not hold a job for more than six months, he never gave me time, he was immature,he did not grow up to take responsibilities that comes in a marriage,he was a mama's boy, he forced me to get money from my parents even after marriage, he never cared for me,he was still in a relationship with his former girlfriend, he was a miser, he never bought a house or a car,he never gave me my space, he refused to shift out from his parents home and stayed with them. In short he was the worst husband in the world.

Now we come to the other members of the family of the former husband, the father, the mother, the brother, the sister and other close relatives.All of them were villains belonging to different fraternities of  Bollywood movies and Indian television serials.The father in law was a patriarch, misogynist and a male chauvinistic pig.In short he was the dominating  Amrish Puri of the house.The mother in law was an upgraded version of Nirupa Roy, Bindu and Aruna Irani being extremely dominant, dictatorial, controlling and insecure.She had a complete hold over her son and constantly interfered in the marriage.The brother in law was some wayward fellow lost in his own world and in some cases he molested this now divorcee woman who is sitting in front of you and telling you her sad story.The sister in law was an extremely jealous woman , she was a caricature of all those monster sister in laws we get to see on Saas Bahu television series produced by Ekta Kapoor.In short the whole family was villainous and dysfunctional.

Never will one hear any of these women admitting to their own faults or mistakes. In extremely rare cases and that would be like six sigma, a woman may admit that she too was wrong.

To many single Indian men who are looking out for marriage and have met a divorcee, please read my post carefully. If a woman is constantly blaming her former husband and in laws for her failed marriage then there is something that is seriously wrong with her. Just take my advice and avoid such a kind of woman, she will only bring ruin and destruction to your life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

Monday, July 17, 2017

Kyaa Kar Sakti Hai Police? Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

In this short post, the single Indian man would like to share a popular video on you tube of a scene form the  Bollywood movie "GUDDU RANGEELA".

In this video, a police man on an inspector level is threatening suspected robbers on what the police can do against anyone. Have a look below:

In a brilliant acting done by Amit Sial, he shows the reality of the Indian police.All Indian men should watch this video and think, how biased and prejudiced the policing system in India really is.

We have often seen women complaining at police stations and falsely accusing their husbands and in-laws. In order to make a quick buck or being influenced by the woman and her family, the police books the man and his family in all sorts of false cases like 498a, domestic violence, harassment and a lot more.

This is a reality that all Single Indian men must know especially those who are planning to get married.

This post was just to create and awareness amongst all Single Indian men and they need to be aware of this in their daily dealings with women.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Friday, July 14, 2017


This article is written on behalf of all Alpha Indian men who share a similar opinion that no matter what , a woman should know cooking if she wants to get married and become a wife. Educated or not educated , cooking skill is a mandatory requirement for all Indian women who want to get hitched. The Single Indian man clearly states to all Indian men reading this blog that whenever they go looking out for a spouse in an arranged marriage setup, they should ask whether the woman knows this or not. This is nothing to feel embarrassed or shameful about. Writing as a third person please find my post below:

As Indian men we too have expectations and there is nothing wrong about it.We love good food and fine cooking.Our moms have always given us the best meals. Is it wrong if we expect the same from our wives or future wives?

Feminist media has sold a false ideology to the modern Indian women which considers cooking as equivalent to slavery.This has made many Indian women averse to cooking and they fail to learn and master this important skill. Have a look at the false propaganda on internet

Go and ask any of these so called modern Independent women, do they know how to cook? Can they manage cooking and grocery shopping? The answer is no! They can't. They are just busy doing unnecessary work like chatting on whats app, social media, binge watching television episodes, clubbing, pubbing, outings. They live mostly on takeaways, home deliveries and meals cooked by maids. Some of these women are so pathetic that they can't even operate a gas stove. Have a look at a video down below:

This is the real condition of today's so called modern empowered Indian women.

Cooking is an important skill that each and every Indian women must know if she wants to get married, have a happy family and married life and raise healthy children.Why is child and teen obesity rising in India? The answer is that women are not able to cook healthy food and are feeding junk and garbage food to their children. 

If Indian men are considered worthy because of their education, salaries, property and car ownership then an Indian woman should definitely be considered worthy based on her knowledge of culinary skills.

There is nothing wrong if Indian men look for a wife who knows how to cook or is willing to learn the same.It is necessary.Men work hard all day long,they need good food for breakfast, lunch and dinner and the responsibility falls on the wife.

So if an Indian woman does not know how to cook, she should not be considered as a suitable alliance and Indian man should take up a stand in rejecting her. I rest my case here. PERIOD.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singning off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Monday, July 10, 2017


In this short blog post I write down certain trends that I have observed on the online matrimonial platforms.

In January this year , quite reluctantly I once again registered myself on a matrimonial site. Yaaa!!! You guessed right,!!!It was done just to show the world that people like me do exist (especially when women complain that there are no good men left in India.)

After my registration some interests did come but nothing proceeded further and now I hardly get any expression of interests.I am not bothered because I know better. But recently I have observed that my profile views have drastically increased. Many potential matches have visited my profile, some have done it repeatedly but there has been no expression of interest.

My profile pictures, education and profession may make me a potential suitor but because of a zero family background I hardly stand a chance. On my profile I have been extremely transparent about myself stating each and every aspect of my life and accordingly I have written the content under the heading "ABOUT MYSELF". But somewhere I feel that it the truth that is repelling them. After all who would want to associate with a n orphan ? Who would want to marry his daughter/sister to marry a person who has no family? I am looked upon with suspicion. Yes sir, this is the harsh reality of being an orphan in India.People may sympathize with you but none will empathize. Didn't a wise man say that marriage is a union between two families and not 2 individuals.

At-least I now have an answer if someone were to ask me why online matrimonial sites never worked in my favour? It is written in this post of mine.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Sunday, July 9, 2017

On ungrateful Indian women by Bhaveen Sheth-DTOSIM

The single Indian man writes in the topic of ungrateful Indian women,One comes across them in different walks of life. No matter how good someone is towards them,no matter what help people have done towards them, these women remain perpetually ungrateful towards everything and everyone.They constantly crib criticise and blame each and everyone.In this blog post, I would like to put in my own thoughts and opinions on them.

We come across Indian women who are  ungrateful towards people, situations, events and things.They have never appreciated how people have gone beyond their limits to meet their expectations.These are the women criticise their fathers,mothers, siblings, classmates, boyfriends and husbands for each and everything. For get  any acknowledgement of help and support, these women think that they are entitled for better treatment and privileged to get things out of turn.They have had their way during childhood and now as an adult one gets to see the manifestation of a sociopathic behaviour.

One can easily identify by the statements they make.They often criticise their boyfriends or spouses for not doing enough for them, they speak bad things about people who have stood by them during their difficult times.They treat human relationship as a tissue paper that is to be used and discarded.When things go wrong they tend to put the blame on others.Their expectations are extremely high but they themselves are mediocre.However they are blessed with fair skin or above average looks, hence we see Indian men wagging their tails like dogs in order to meet their expectations.

My heart goes out to the men who have married these ungrateful Indian women.These men are victims of domestic emotional abuse constantly being criticised no matter how hard they work to better care givers, providers, husbands and spouses. Denigrating their husbands and comparing them with other successful men are strong arm tactics of emotional abuse used by these ungrateful Indian women.

As I finish writing this blog post , I fail to understand how ungrateful Indian women are in-spite of getting each and everything that a 21st century urban Indian women get and that too without working hard for it.These women have never seen the struggles that their Indian counterparts face in India's small towns and rural villages. Had they seen of experienced it, they would have been grateful and filled with gratitude. But that is certainly not the case her.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Indian society is equally intolerant of free spirited single Indian men-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

Sometime back , I read an article which spoke on an extreme level of intolerance of the Indian society towards free spirited single Indian women.However it failed to mention on an equal level or even more intolerance directed towards free spirited single Indian men.

Our society has never accepted the so called single status of people and has always detested people who have chosen to live a single life.While single Indian women are detested for not getting married and giving birth to a child, single Indian men are hated for not getting married, settling down and living a decent family life. Single Indian men are often accused of being vagabounds.

Indian society is made up of various likes and dislikes, at times it contradicts its very own structure,foundation and values.

Tolerance towards single Indian men especially those who are free spirited and live a happy life is extremely limited. In India, you won't find men who are single, somehow they get married, those who are not married are in the process of being hitched. I can't vouch the same for the single Indian women. Men who stay single out of their own choice face  lots of criticism and taunts.The society blacklists and debars them.Limited people will associate with them, their very existence is a source of criticism.

Single free spirited men are seen as a threat to the normal order of the Indian society.Since childhood we have been indoctrinated into following the routine protocol of life, you know, getting a good education, getting a job, getting married, settling down and having children.So what happens when some Indian men stay single out of their own choice and challenge this society order?They are certainly bound to become a source of envy and hatred.

It takes a lot of strength, courage and resilience for  Indian men to remain single.The decision to stay single is itself a difficult one to make.Once you start enjoying your own company and start living your life, you draw the attention of other people, free spirited single Indian men can do a lot of things that their married counterparts cannot.With no responsibilities over us , we are eagles soaring high in the skies.By staying single we disturb the natural order of the society hence we are disliked, we are branded irresponsible as we don not undertake the responsibilities of a family and fatherhood.No one is willing to accept the fact that we are pursuing our own interest at the cost of sacrificing our married life.

Our lifestyle is a big question mark for many. Most people think that we boose, take drugs, watch pronograpic movies,womanize and live a shabby life, that is certainly not the case. Now we cannot go around justifying our existence, can we? Remaining single allows us to pursue the activities of our own interests, we are more content with our lives compared to our married peers.Many single Indian men take a step further to take good care of themselves, age gracefully, become voracious readers and wonderful conversationalists.These men shine out, so they get hated, single men also do not have the financial woes that married folks have, no home loans, no car loans, no school and college fees to pay. Thirties and forties are a bliss for the single Indian men. So now tell me , why won't the single guys be hated.

Indian society will always remain intolerant, it does not accept the minority or diverse people.We often see its hatred directed towards its religious minorities , low castes, dark skinned people, north east Indians, the LTGB community , widows, divorcees and singles. Ohhh and not to forget the hatred towards the non-vegetarian eaters and those who exercise their freedom of speech.

We the single Indian men are free spirited souls, we have chosen this life, we don't need confirmation from idiotic and stupid married Indian men who claim to be representing the society, we don't need any advice and we don't want help.If the society hates, so be it. Who and what is the Indian society? It is made up of four people who will always have something critical to say no matter what you do.

The society is never going to accept us as we have violated its norms, rules and laws and we don't need its acceptance either.Our married peers will always have something to say. What you will eventually carry to your death bed are memories and experiences, do your best to make them look good.Looking back it is these memories that will bring a smile on your face. So go ahead and life your free spirited life without bothering about others.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Friday, June 16, 2017

The good Indian woman is dead-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

In this writeup, Bhaveen Sheth , the single Indian man writes an obituary for the good Indian woman, he honestly pays a tribute to all the good things she did for her family and the society.She is one of those nameless and faceless woman who has never been appreciated. In this write up I put in my thoughts for her appreciation and adulation.

The dawn of the 21st century has been difficult for the Indian society. In the last two decades we have seen a rapid transformation on the side of the Indian women, but this transformation has been for the worse,We get to seen a lot of arm chair feminists, pseudo feminists, middle class Indian princesses and of course feminazis. It is only after dealing with such women does one realize the importance and the relevance of good Indian women.They were the women who were there in our father's and grandfather's times, they were the real women of substance, their feminine presence and charm was wonderful, their demeanor and grace commanded respect, they converted simple houses into wonderful homes, what wonderful women they were.

They too used to be ambitious but they chose to put the needs and requirements of the family before theirs.They worked hard in bringing up a family, raising children and maintaining strong family bonds.They did all the housework without cribbing or complaining, they sat down and tutored their children, cooked meals and served it to their husbands and gave them good company.They were certainly not materialistic, small things made them happy, seeing their family happy brought joy to them. They did not get sucked into this wave of feminism. Some of them worked in offices and institutions and yet did not neglect their families.After work they would go home, cook and prepare for the next day. 

They were cost conscious as they would even save a small penny for the future.Narcissism and self obsession was never a part of their personality trait.Guests were always entertained at home and these women would make it a point to play the role of good hostesses without being asked for.Their cooking skills were exemplary, each woman was a master cook in her own way.Their speeches and conversations were wonderful, never did they use abusive language filled with expletives and profanities.They took care of the elders and took up the role of dutiful daughters. They were givers of love and affection.Some of these women were not educated but they were extremely skillful and street smart. All of them were wonderful in their own way.They were the epitome of a wonderful family and a pillar of the Indian society. Today we miss them badly, these women no longer exist, at best they are an endangered species and at worse they are extinct.

As I come to the end of this post , I clearly state that we are now seeing a new toxic species of Indian women who have been indoctrinated into the wrong ideas of feminism. These women will not cook, they will not clean, and they will not take care of their homes.All they will do is study bullshit educational courses, get worthless degrees that have no employment value, undertake jobs that are boring and miserable and claim that they are the strong empowered Indian women. They will spend their entire salaries on beautifying themselves.They are too self centred,too self obsessed and narcissistic.Maturity has never dawned upon them.To tell you the truth, no one wants them, no man wants them as a wife, no parent want them as a daughter, no one wants them as a daughter in law.These women have become unwanted even in their homes Their parents see them as an unwanted burden. Day by day their(parents) worry rises , after all ,which decent man would like to marry such a woman. 

One will find scores of such women  in India mostly in their 30's and 40's who are still single and miserable.And if any of you women belonging to this category are reading this post , I suggest that you have a good look at yourself and what you really are. A good Indian woman in spite of all her imperfections is always desired.Women of your kind will always be considered unwanted.This is the real truth of many Indian women of today's times.

Ending this post, I feel sad that our society has fallen to such miserable times. As Indian men we miss the good Indian women.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Tuesday, April 4, 2017

When Single Indian women face the sum of all fears-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM

The sum of all fears is a quote made by the belligerent late British Prime Minister Mr.Winston Churchill.To put is simply it means when all your realized and unrealized fears become true and you find it difficult to face them.

The same applies to all these thirty (30) plus single Indian women. There are many incidents or events that happen forcing these women to face the sum of all their fears. So what exactly happens? Well, it is an avalanche of all problems that come together when these women hit their early 30's.Things don't go the way they have imagined.Marriage prospects start drying up, peer pressure to get married increases,parents age and start having health problems, life is not easy.These women have never realized the major problems that are going to hit them at a certain point of time.

And one day something finally hits them and hits them hard.Marriage prospects decline,rejections get multiplied,parents suffer from ill health, siblings get married and start having a family, friends also get married, hormonal changes happen, the need for companionship and craving for motherhood goes up.Things don't happen the way they wanted and life takes a different turn.This is what I call as the sum of all fears.

No matter how strong Indian women claim to be, they are weak.They need support and companionship and if they don't get it, they will break down. Life then takes a downward spiral.

And if you happen to be that single Indian women reading this post ,I kindly request you to think again.No matter how much you cherish your single hood a day will come when you will face the sum of all fears.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lo more.

Monday, March 27, 2017


At the time of writing this post I am just two (2) months short of turning 35.As of now I am content with my solo life and enjoy every bit of it. I try to find happiness in small things and have no regrets or complaints.

However people are not happy to see me single. In a society where everyone is married,I stand out for being single.People want to see me married and there is where the problem lies.

I belong to a questionable and distrustful family background.The so called reputed and respected families would not prefer me.No matter how aged their daughters/sister may be,they still prefer men from decent families.

Alliances do come for me. Close friends and sometimes colleagues speak to people they know and try to fix a match and for me this is a grave area of disappointment.Most of these alliances are equally complicated.Here I tend to come across women who are not getting married for obvious reasons, some are obese,some dark skinned, shot, ugly looking, divorced, single mothers,women from dysfunctional families and a lot more.Some women may come from a normal family but their individual personalities are complicated.In my case on the individual front but with zero family background I stand ineligible.Hence when my side of the story is narrated to these complicated women ,they find me acceptable.I often hear people say that this particular girl is okay with your family background or they don't mind my not having a family.But I know better.These women are accepting me because they don't have any choice.It is like the Hobson's choice.I stand out to be the best of the worst choices that many of these women have to make.The other choices available to these women are divorcees,single fathers,middle-aged and old men and men who are equally ugly and disgusting.And yaaa,not to forget that all these men ask for a fat dowry.

These complicated alliances can never work out because at the end somewhere wither you or the woman end up making major compromises.The alliance is itself need based and symbiotic,It is not based on understanding,liking or compassion.

I can understand what many of these women go through.An advancing age,society and family pressure,desperate need to get married and a lot more.The common thing seen in these women is that many have neglected themselves in terms of looks and physical appearance.They tend to have become obese and do not look presentable.Another trait common with these women is that they have major emotional and behavioral issues,they tend to be erratic and unstable.These symptoms are an outcome of being left behind, neglected and left out.In our society a 30 plus woman is always treated badly,she is often ridiculed and insulted.This leads to a massive build up rage and aggression.Anger,rage,dejection and desperation is a dangerous combination.

And it is with these points written above,I realize why do complicated matrimonial alliances find me unacceptable.I hold no grudges or grievance.In our society everyone has the right to get married or seek alliances but experience has taught me that relations formed under desperation do no last for long.This is why I don't consider these complicated alliances very well knowing that things will not work out on a long term basis.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing of for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Dear Sir, girls from respectable families get married by the age of 30

Two months ago based on a strong insistence of a very dear friend, I once again created my profile on (India's famous online matrimonial platform). However this time I did not have many expectations. I created this profile with that sole intention of letting people know that I exist and if they were interested in my profile they were welcome to express interest.

A month ago someone expressed interest in my profile. The girl was 32 years old, living in North India, educated and working in a good organization, as claimed by the content written in her profile. The profile also stated that it was created by herself.

I was quite surprised when I received a call from the girl's father. He had a typical North Indian Mentality, his way of talking revealed it. After asking basic questions he got to do business. He was looking for a suitable match for his daughter as he wanted her to settle down. He inquired about my family background and I stated that I had none.He paused for a few seconds and responded by saying "You don't have parents?" " You don't have a family?". How can I believe that you belong to a decent family?" This statement hurt me a lot and I abruptly stopped the conversation by stating I was not interested and disconnected the phone.

This is not the first time that I have had to face such ignominious questions. Years back when I was a novice in dealing with matters of matrimony I had faced similar questions and was left insulted. But now I am a veteran  and in this post I would like to give an answer to such people.

After the phone call was disconnected, I drafted and sent an email to this person. Written below are the contents of that email:

Dear Sir,

I would like to counter your statement by saying that girls who belong to a decent Indian family get married by the age of thirty (30). The fact that your daughter is 32, belonging to a North Indian society and that you are looking for mates beyond the geographical confines clearly shows your miserable condition. It amazed me that you are looking for grooms outside your community. When did you become so modern and broad minded? I can understand your anxiety combined with desperation.Your daughter has already joined the club of the leftover women.Good matrimonial alliances stopped coming the day your daughter crossed the age of 30. It is your destiny.

But who has give you the right to bluntly insult someone? If you are well educated as you say you are , then why did you fail to read my profile where I had mentioned all the facts about myself.. Either your eyesight is poor or your reading comprehension skills are weak. Whatever the case may be, you should not have spoken to me in an offensive manner.

Not having parents or a family is not a crime.It is not my fault that I am an orphan. Life took a different turn, accidents happen, tragedies occur, it is  destiny. I don't see myself as a victim of tragic circumstances. I am a man of my own making who has achieved everything by himself and this is something people like you cannot understand.

And whom do you consider to be respectable families? The ones who are unethical, immoral and greedy!!!The ones who ask for a very fat dowry when they want their son to get married.What about men who belong to rich families and commit heinous crimes like rape and murder? What about people who kill road side pedestrians and motorists during their long drives? You consider them respectable and not me. Your hypocrisy and double standards never fail to amuse me.

So coming back to the topic of respectable families, are you respectable? If you are then why does your daughter remain to be  unmarried at the age of 32? Respectable families imbibe good values in their daughters. The importance of marriage is taught to the daughters at an early age. Good daughters understand the need  to get married at an early age. After all, there is a family honor to be kept and family name that has to be respected.The fact that your daughter remains to be single at the age of 32 depicts the family that you belong to.

So, in future instead of putting anyone down , please remember my statement. Don't forget that I am also someone' child and just because my parents are not there with me , you don't have any right to put me down. Before insulting someone have a close look at your leftover daughter. Think how she would feel if someone were to bluntly tell her that she is an off the shelf product in the marriage market. Close your eyes and think about it.

I did not receive any reply for this letter.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

An eternity of loneliness, longing and nostalgia

In this blogpost, I write down my thoughts and feelings on an eternity of loneliness, longing and nostalgia felt by many single Indian men living all by themselves in metropolitan cities of India. This post is primarily written from the perspective of a single Indian man living in Delhi-NCR.

It is in an alien city that we feel extremely lonely and homeless, the realization of having no home becomes heavy and difficult to deal with.The feeling of having no family is part of a permanent emotional disease whose symptoms affect you on a daily basis.Living in a new city surrounded by unknown people who are equally heartless and hostile gives us a heavy feeling of longing and nostalgia.

Where is that home and where is that family? We have no one to go back to and no one to call our own. For a man like me who has no parents or family support, I have no one whom I can call a family. Living on my own moving from city to city has put in a permanent feeling of homelessness in me. For men who have left their toxic dysfunctional families, their lives and stories are similar to mine, the only difference being that they no longer want to go back to their dysfunctional families, for them their families are as good as dead.For the separated and the divorced , life is equally hard, having experienced the joys of a family, loneliness now brings a deep feeling of longing and nostalgia.

An urban city is a breeding ground for loneliness. You feel alone withing an ocean of people.You want to but cannot connect with unknown people. Every place in the city reminds you about loneliness:multiplexes, restaurants, grocery stores and many other places remind you about something that is missing. You see a couple who is madly in love with each other  and get a feeling of longing. When was the last time that you had a meaningful emotional contact?When was the last time when someone touched your soul.? We don't know, we cannot remember. Small children remind you of a child that you could never have or a father that you could never become. You sit in a restaurant and observe a family on the adjacent table enjoying their meal and having a wonderful time, it reminds you how long you have been eating alone without a family. Every family reminds you of something that you are not.

Where can we find solace? Orphans have no place to go to, you can't go back to your dysfunctional family, the divorced and the separated feel uncomfortable around their married relatives.

Delhi and the National Capital Region (NCR) is a paradoxical and contradictory city. There is a massive urban development going on in Gurgaon, Noida, Faridabad and Ghaziabad clutching along with Delhi. You find its inhabitants who are superficial and fake. Everyone seems to be exaggerating himself/herself. It is here where you find humanity dug in its deepest graveyard. You don't understand the culture or its people. You see and observe a lot.You see people aspiring for a fancy life without working hard for it, fast cash and easy money is a new found religion here, people of both the genders have high levels of cortisol and adrenaline hormones in their blood stream just waiting for aggression to burst out, pubbing and clubbing is a new form of worship.You meet men who want a fair skinned bride, women who want only well settled husbands earning more than 1 Lakh per month. Divorce and adultery is a normal thing.Marriages are no longer sacred here:Where is the sanctity of this ritual when alcohol flows like river and brides dance like bar dancers? A noble ceremony has become a materialistic ritual.The society and the culture of this city offends and repels you.

The opposite gender in this city seems to be extremely conceited, haughty , opportunistic and arrogant. Even their fake smiles carry an ulterior materialistic motive. You can't have a meaningful conversation with them.Even in relationships and marriages these women are busy meeting their own agendas. Relationships are made and broken here at the drop of a hat. It is here where you see women filling false rape and dowry cased against their boyfriends and husbands when relationships break down.The women of this region love to wash their dirty linen in public.

You meet some good Samaritans here and they tend to like you.They invite you to their homes and treat you with lunch and dinner. You feel normal, at least for some hours. The woman of the house cooks and serves you food, she reminds you of a sister in law you always wanted. The children connect with you reminding you of a niece/nephew you always wanted.You leave after having a wonderful time with the family and reach back to your house only to feel the vacuum of loneliness.

The men here are a of different lot. Their ignorance and stupidity never stops to amaze you, especially the men belonging to the hinterlands of north India. By getting married to some fair looking dames and fathering children, they think of themselves to be the Alexanders in their own right who have conquered an important territory and are enjoying the spoils of the war.They can't tolerate individualism and and often look down upon people like us who happen to be single.They remind us of our single status often through taunts and criticisms and we too give back acerbic replies to the point of offending their false pride and overinflated egos. We know better. These men have a really hard time in meeting the high expectations of their MADAMJI wives. As the day comes to an end, as a weekend approaches, people around you start making plans: a fancy restaurant to visit, a weekend gateway has been planned, a wedding/social function to attend, a new mall to visit and a lot more. You have no such plans and even if you did , you don't want to share. You go back to your house, it is a house that could never become a home. You tend to keep yourself occupied.

Whether we chose this life or this life chose us is something we ask ourselves everyday and find no answers. But still we continue living our lives on the basis of hope and the feeling than one day things will go well in future.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, promise to be back with a lot more.


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Writeup of Mr.Amit Deshpande-Men's rights activist in the website logical Indian

Dear Friends,

I would like to share the writeup by the prominent men's rights activist Mr.Amit Deshpande on the website-The Logical Indian in the link below:

He shares his bitter experience of marriage, how it became sour, faced a domestic violence case from his wife demanding a very high alimony. Mr.Amit Deshpade carried out a strong legal fight and ultimately got justice.

I have seen him on and off speaking on activism for the Indian men on social media and at Tedx talks. Never knew that he too had a difficult past. The single Indian man respects his struggle and pays him a tribute on his relentless campaign for men's right.

His story is also an eye opener for many single men like us who are trying to find brides through online matrimonial forums. Beware!!! Things are really not what they seem. Do a thorough check on all women before you settle down.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Friday, February 17, 2017

Yes sir/madam, your sons and daughters can get married and live happily ever after, not people like us.

I write this blogspot in a form of a conversation to a man/woman who is above 50, has children who are now married and living happily. The man/woman could also be a grandparent having adorable and lovely grandchildren.

Yes sir/madam, I am very happy for you, you have fulfilled all your responsibilities, it is commendable.It seems that you have come to know me through a mutual acquaintance, you have become close to me, you have seem to have taken some kind of liking for men, somewhere down the line I remind you of your own child, I remind you of a son you wished to have.That is why you are concerned for me.My age is going by and you are wondering why I am still not married? Why I am still single? You advice me on the importance of marriage and its importance in the Indian society.You speak on loneliness and isolation that single people face once they become old.

I understand that, but what can men like me do? Having no parents or having left our dysfunctional families  for good, what options do we have? Who is there to represent us? Whom can we call a family? Sir/Madam, as of now you must have had your fair share of experience in this system of holy matrimony.You very well know that it is not a union of two individuals but an alliance of between two respectable  families. I am sure this was the criteria when you went out scouting  for an eligible groom/bride  for your son/daughter. So we come back to the statement written in the heading.Do we even stand for a decent chance of getting married? Will the decent families even consider us as a suitable husband for their daughters/sisters?

This is open to conjecture.It is very easy to advise and lecture, it is easy to judge and it is very easy to pass comments but it is extremely difficult to live by example.

So Sir/Madam, you can remain happy with your children getting married. Kindly stop worrying about us, fact is that no one cares for orphans. We will eventually find our way to live alone and you need not be concerned.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.