On 8th of March 2014 (last year) , I deleted all my online matrimonial profiles. It was certainly an eventful day to take such a step (International Women's day)
Growing up in my 20's, like every other single Indian man, I too had dreams of getting married some day. Having no proper family background and no relatives to stand or speak on my behalf, I created my profile on different online matrimonial sites that had sprung up over the last decade. What followed was a roller coaster ride of nothing but disappointment and dejection. I will mention my experiences on subsequent blogposts.
Later after a lot of soul searching I finally realized that I was not marriage material. I decided to give up my search for a soul mate and deleted all my matrimonial profiles.
A years after deleting the same, I would like to write down my observations below:
No false hopes and no bitter disappointments
Every expression of matrimony on profile raised a sense of false hope. There were times when I used to feel that this was the person made for me. Little did I realize that these women or their parents were checking me out as a potential candidate that might meet their requirements or expectations. Talks with some girls did give me a sense of fale hope and elation only to be hit by a bitter sense of disappointment when I got rejected. I started feeling that I had joined the category of the dejected and the rejected.
After deleting my profiles, I have never had such negative feelings because there were no rejections and no disappointments.
The feeling of left behind vanished
Looking for someone whom you want to get married makes you desperate. The same thing happened to me during my late 20's.i started to feel that I was the only one left out as people of my age were married and had children. Maybe because at that moment I had false hopes of getting married and joining the league of the married people.
Maybe when I was going through the profile of prospective brides, I would come across some really smart and beautiful women, expressions of interests in their profiles e lead to no responses of rejections.Over the last one year I have transformed and have realized that being left behind is just a feeling that I had in my mind.There nothing like being left out of left behind. It is a sense of falsehood created and nurtured by the Indian society.
Living a happy and content single life has now become an obsession
Anyone who says that solo living is miserable is either a fool or a pathetic loser.Solo life has its own advantages in India and that too in a miserable Indian society.You no longer have to take up unnecessary and unwanted responsibilities, you no longer have to get into unwanted family relationships, you no longer have to live up to the standards of the dysfunctional Indian society.Unlike the boring married life, solo living is exciting.
Accept It!!!!! marriage is an overrated institution.
I can write an essay of more that 5000 words on the above mentioned topic. In Indian marriage is an overrated institution. An institution that is based on lies, false promises and deceit. Today it has become a business of takeovers, mergers and acquisitions. An an event marriage is wonderful , as an institution it is a disaster.Divorces and separations are on a rise and worst part is that marital battles and bitterly fought in courts. Even if marriage is stable there are far too many expectations put upon the Indian man.
Personal and professional growth and development
When you decide that you don't want to get married, when you stop searching for a should mate, when you decided that you are happy being single, you change and you change for the better.
In the last one year, I have grown, both on the personal and the professional front. I have undertaken more and more activities on self improvement.I have increasingly started focusing on myself and my self development.I have no intention meeting the expectations of the Indian society.
As I end this post, I clearly state that deleting my profiles on the online matrimonial sites was the best decision that I ever took
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