Sunday, April 27, 2014

Words of wisdom from a 46 year old single Indian Male

My dear Single Indian Male friends,

There are times when we would like to look up to some seniors or must I say veterans in the league of the single Indian men. However there seem to be none. Looks like the Indian society has made  a decision to hunt down the last single Indian  male and get him married.

However browsing through google for some sensible advice from a middle aged single Indian man, I came upon the following article:

46, Male, Single. And no less fraught


Here is a person in his forty's telling us on how the Indian society treats him. It does not respect his privacy and often taunts him on his single status.

Some of the statements form his article:

They seem to suggest: get married and all your problems will vanish. Do they mean to say married people have no problems? Aha! They do, they do. But problems of the married are somehow more fashionable and more respectable than the problems of single people. Still a bachelor at forty-six, I now realise that my choice to remain single was as smart a move a man chased by a yelping puppy can make by jumping to safety into a pit full of scorpions and cockroaches. (Don’t ask me how they, the stingers and the ticklers, live together. In such a pit, they do!)

I completely agree , many men in India do not know why they are getting married in the first place. Ask them and they will tell you, parent pressure, peer pressure, fear of lonliness and what not. Majority do not have a personal self centered interest in getting married.

Not one opportunity is wasted by these married rogues to remind single people of their singleness. Would you want to know, dear reader, how often I’ve had to remind my married friends that they are actually married? 

Sounds familiar!!!!! How many times are we treated in the above manner by near and far relatives and neighbors?? Sad thing is that some people have nothing else to do other than bothering in to the personal lives of people.

The difference between Indian men and western men cannot be more striking: awareness of marital responsibilities often makes western men reluctant to marry and have families, but our own Uttara Kumaras are in such a rush to marry and reproduce.

Marriage, for most Indians, is a desired act because otherwise social approbation follows. It also offers an excuse for productive sexual gratification.

Hahahaha, I almost laughed at this, the average Indian male has a raging potent libido which he cannot control and marriage is the only solution for him, after all what can one expect in a society that restricts people from fulfilling their carnal desires. It's  only after the sexual urges have been fulfilled, does the Indian male realize that there are whole set of responsibilities that come along with marriage which they had never been aware of.

For the average Indian, irrespective of religion, caste, culture, social status or whatever, singleness is shocking unless one has “renounced” everything and struts about in monochrome attire. After all, in our culture, don’t even gods marry, reproduce, quarrel and even have affairs? How dare single people think they’re normal? How dare they! And about the divine male debauchees, the less said the better.

YAYAYA, the bloody arrogance, I have faced the same. A lot of people think that I am abnormal because I choose not to get married. The respectable members of the Indian society think that by staying single , I am challenging their rules , norms and traditions.

The real problem is not singleness but lack of mutual respect, particularly respect for the individual. Our culture is not one that offers sufficient space for the individual, leave alone the non-conformists — even if they are as harmless as butterflies.

Yes, 100 percent right. The Indian society is known for its rigidity and intolerance. It cannot accept individuality. Members of this honorable society feels that acceptance comes only by having a family. Bullshit!!!! utter  nonsense, I choose not to accept the same.

As a single person, i have time and again face the same issues mentioned above. People just an't see me living along and enjoying a peaceful life filled with solitude. Statements made are "What will you do by saving so much money that you are saving"?? " What is your purpose in life, if you don't get and remain single" ?? "Marriage changes your life"

And it goes on and on. People fail to understand that men are now taking the decision to remain single. Running away from responsibilities is one thing, but why take up certain responsibilities, if you are not competent to handle the same. Why???? Isn't there something more to life than just marriage and kids????

But still I thank the author of this article, Mr.Mohan Das for bringing out the issues faced by the single Indian men living in India.


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