How the Indian society perceives orphans

Every year I happen to come across new situations, experiences and people. I become wiser.

This post is not about a complaint nor is about ranting on my situation. It is about a few points on how the Indian society perceives and treats the orphaned people.

So how does the Indian society treat us???? The best thing they do is to keep a safe distance from us. We are marginalized, segregated and treated as outcasts. It just seems that people don't want to associate with us.

There are times I feel that being an orphan is a lot worst than being disabled or incapacitated. Our lives are devoid of love and affection.

The general image that people get of an orphan is more from movies. People think that we have grown up in an orphanage home, lived a life of miserly, have bad habits, are criminally minded, have no social skills etc etc.

A lot of people are interested in how I happen to spend my time after work. The general impression is that I must be drinking alcohol or smoking pot. It comes as a surprise to people when they realize that I live a happy life all by myself ( I jog and lift weights regularly, take up advanced certification courses, read a lot on fiction and non fiction subjects, keep abreast with the changes in the specialty of my work). Sadly people think otherwise.

And "How do you manage your food"??? Another pathetic question, not that I take it as an offense. The general impression formed about orphans is that they are street side rodents who eat whatever is thrown on the road and nothing else.

Our opinions and intentions are always looked with scrutiny.

My single status is mystery to one and all. People advise me now and then to get married. I have no answers, some even tell me that i don't take up pursuing a female seriously, that I have too many expectations, yaaaa great!!!!! What expectations does an orphan have?? Devoid of love and affection, can we ask for anything more??? And sir/madam do you know what does it mean to grow up being emotionally detached?? Do you know what does it mean to be denied a basic human touch, a hug or an embrace??? No you don't , because you have had the privilege of having it all. Then what high expectations can we have??? None , we only have normal expectations but in the Indian society even our normal expectations are considered to be too high.

Having no option of having anyone whom we can call our own, we make friends with outsiders, some become very close to us and we associate with them as our true family, we try to show to the society that they are our real family as of now. But to damn this goddamn Indian society, only blood relations are considered to be the true family, rest of all is just considered show piece.

We are considered to be vulnerable, gullible having no knowledge of the outside world, I often get unsolicited advises from people telling me on  how I should manage things even though their own personal and professional lives have been wrecked.

No one wants to actually marry us, after all , having a good family background is the most essential criteria of all Indian marriages. Even if some relations come forward, they are the dejected and rejected ones, the girls who cannot find any suitable matches for themselves, the girls who  want to marry just anyone out of mere desperation, the divorcees, the parents and siblings who  want to marry of their respective daughters or sisters and tick off something from their responsibility checklist. And even here people are  looking to take an advantage of this so called holy relation. People think that we have no choice, after all who are we??? The orphaned!!!! Why should we even have any requirements????? It is a blessing for an orphan to even get married!!!!!!!! People  are looking out to take advantage, seeking the maximum out of minimum.

There have been times when I have felt no better than a prostitute who is put up for sale, every part of the body is scrutinized with suspicion before some customer is willing to pay a much bargained price. The questions that I have been subjected too, the humiliating comments and statements made are just too much to take. And I bear them , after all I am an orphan.

They same members of the Indian society then to scare me on the problems of growing old , on having no one to take care of me. Amazing, first you marginalize and segregate me and then you show your concern. What bloody hypocrisy???

Two weeks ago I deleted all the profiles I had created on the online matrimonial sites. Seven years ago I had created it thinking that like all normal people I too would get married and integrate into the society, but somewhere I forgot that an orphan tag is the worst form of curse a person can carry.No one wants his daughter or sister to marry an orphan.

All I can say is that the Indian society has no place for orphans. No one , just no one wants us. Some scholars say that orphans are the children of god, that they are the chosen ones, no sir, I don't think so, not in the Indian society. All I can tell the almighty is that never make  anyone an orphan and if you do ,please , they should not be born in  the Indian society because even death in more honorable than living the life of a cursed orphan.