Friday, January 24, 2014

Indian Women don't marry down

Hello my friends,

I was just scrolling through a facebook link and came across the topic "Feminism sleeps with Patriarchy".

It spoke of marrying down and why a majority of the educated modern Indian women don't want to marry down.

http://legalfighter.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/feminism-sleeps-with-patriarchy-and-feigns-a-facade/

Please read the above link.

Marrying down means marrying someone who is less qualified that you, earns less than you or younger to you. I am not trying to be stereotypical here , but the fact remains that in the Indian society, women don't want to settle down for a lesser man.

Look around my friends, the educated woman who holds a professional job wants a man better than her in each and every way and yet, and yet she expects that he should have all the personal qualities she is looking for. You know the guy from some romantic books or romantic movies.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Is the single Indian male an object of pity???

At times some weird thoughts do come to my mind. Are we,  the single Indian men an object of pity/sympathy for others?? Are we looked down as someone who are sad, depressed and in need of companionship???

With the dawn of the 21st century the single Indian male has started to evolve and is now on his way to create a niche of his own. Please note , when I say the single Indian male, I mean the refined elite educated man who has a class of his own, not  the frustrated average single Indian looser who is a walking hard on and  desperate to get married.

So coming back to the topic, I wonder why does the society treat us in such with loads of sympathy? Why do some people feel sad for us??? Why do they feel that lady luck never shone on us??

This may be due to two reasons as per my thought process. 

On boastful married Indian husbands

Collecting experiences from my every day life , I choose today to write on the boastful married Indian husbands.

Its common to come across married Indian women who keep on boasting of their children's, their capabilities, skills, achievements etc. It looks as if they are the only ones who have produced children in this world. 

But one also comes across married men who keep on boasting, they boast of their wives, their children etc. Now if an olympics were to be held in faking happiness in a marriage, I bet Indians would win the first prize.

But today i would lilke to go into the mindset of these very men, the men who just can't stop boasting!!!

And why??? Why has this become my personal vendetta???? Well , as the single Indian male, I happen to come across these looser scum bags who boast and in a way insult and humiliate the single Indian male by telling him how he has lost out in life, on how he is missing out the good things that come with marital bliss.

So here we go. Who are these F@#$%ed up creatures???. Well!!! The average Joe. Nothing special about them. If a person is happy and content with his life, why should he boast in the first place??  Only an unhappy or an insecure man will go around boasting trying to show how happy he is!!!

On not feeling guilty in enjoying a solo life

The Indian society is strange and at times even paradoxical. It expects people to abide by its unsaid  laws and unwritten rules. Whether you like it or not, you either have to comply with them or you are made to comply (courtesy-Family,peers social circle etc). Someone had told me that once a male child in born in India, he is automatically labelled as Shravan, a person from hindu mythology who had slavish devotion to his parents and in some sort of way was duty bound to the family.

Coming to the males in India, each and every other average Ram, Shyam or Anil is expected to live by the code of the Indian Society. Be a good boy in School, get a nice education, well paying job, get married on time to a bride chosen by the parents, have children on time, take up other familial responsibilities and not to say enjoy that boring mediocre life.

And what happens when a strong headed , strong willed person chooses not to live by the so called rules of the society?? What happens when he chooses to fly high in the sky like and eagle.

Yaaaaaaa, a lot happens!!!!

You are cut off from the society (in a polite way of course),considered to be a misfit, an outcast, weird and god knows what. With this you find that every elderly woman in your social circle wants to see you married and your all married male members envy you or they try to put you down by criticizing on your single status.

But we the single Indian men should not be let down, we should feel guilty living and enjoying a single life. We get only one life and we should live it completely.

Where is it said that living a solo life is a crime???? Where is it said that loneliness kills you??? Damn that god damn scientific research, that is for western people not for Indians. 

And what guilt??? Aren't we taking care of our elderly parents, arent we maintaining relations with our siblings, arent we being law abiding citizens???

And what guilt??? Guilt that we live alone, that we take our own decisions, that we travel to different places, that we  groom for ourselves??? What guilt, my friends???

And what about those who take up marital responsibilities and are not able to live up to the same. Ohh, come on  man what hypocrisy!!!!!

As they single Indian male Bhaveen Sheth, all I would say is that go an live your life with no guilt and if some idiot reminds you of being guilty, just ask him to buzz off, once and for all.


Friday, January 10, 2014

Desperate groom's parents who fall in the trap of 498 Section A Dowry Act

Different that this post may be and weird that it may sound, the single Indian male would like to discuss  this untouched topic.

Marriage is common topic of discussion in every single Indian household. For a bride, her parents take it as a burden, a kind of responsibility to fulfill and a point to tick off their checklist of responsibilities.

However for a groom, it is a matter of pride for his parents. The thought of getting their son married (sometime the only son), the pride in society, the expectation of a subservient duty bound daughter in law who will take care the whole family and not to forget the dream of becoming a grandparent. 

Dreams,dreams and more dream!!!!!!! In India, it is really sad that people live more in a dream world rather than being pragmatic. And how can they be, when one grows on the staple diet of Yash Raj/Karan Johar movies and sitcoms made by Ekta Kapoor, the touch with reality is lost. I would say that a lot of are practically paralyzed.

But what makes a grooms parents desperate in the first place????? In traditional Indian society a grooms parents always had their head held high more out of arrogance than pride, it is they who would call the shots and dictate terms. A brides parents would be at their wits end often begging and pleading in front of the whole world.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

On Single Indian Men from dysfunctional families

This blog post is for  single Indian men from dysfunctional families. As the single Indian male having traveled to different places and met a lot of people, I would like to share the experiences of different men coming from dysfunctional families. The entire blog post will be a collective narration of the such men and will be their statements.

Dysfunctional families, a term that we (single Indian men from  dysfunctional families) realized at a later stage of life. Anyone reading this post will realize what a dysfunctional family is. A family which failed to be a family in the first place. It is not just a failure of a relation but of an institution as a whole.

We don't know what happened. Growing up in the Indian society, we were constantly reminded of the happy Indian family. School , neighborhood and cinema showed us this. But at our homes we realized that something was amiss. Our families were not normal, there was no happiness.Fights, misunderstandings, strained relations was constant. For our parents it was just normal.

You see, our parents were the types who just went into a marriage without realizing what responsibilities came along with it. They brought us in this world just to conform to the norms of the society or make their respective parents happy.

Friday, January 3, 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014

My Dear Single Indian male friends!!!!

Greetings!!!!

I would like to wish everyone a very happy new year. Hope this year is filled with fun and frolic. Be happy and enjoy your life. A happy solo living. Cheers!!!!!!!!

A Warning to all Indian bachelors planning to get married

Hello my dear friends. This post in no way trying to scare you. But just that marriage season is around and some of the single Indian males may be planning to get hitched. There are also a few who may be romantically be involved and are planning to tie a knot. OKKKK!!! I can understand your feeling, love is all around you and you feel the world is a heavenly place. UNDERTSOOD!!!

But before going any further the single Indian male would request you all to read some of the laws, rules and regulations pertaining to marriage and problems faced post marriage especially during separation and divorce.

Please be realistic/ pragmatic in your approach with life. After reading the link below, there are fair chaces that you will come down on earth be more practical.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/106788620/Warning-for-Indian-Bachelors#download 

Thanking you.

Bhaveen Sheth
The Single Indian Male