Yes ,We are Orphans. I am an Orphan not by Birth but by destiny and we are Normal Human beings who have get random thoughts, we to0 have feelings and certainly have hopes, aspirations and desires. We would love to share the same with people close to us, but then who is closer to us. We are all alone left to fend for ourselves. No parents, No close family members, no relatives and no permanent home.
In this Blog post i would like to represent our thoughts feeling and aspirations so that the World can know of the same.
As Orphan I do have normal thoughts, positive healthy thoughts filled with hope for a better tomorrow.
With age going by and I getting older day by day, I think in retrospection that who will take care of me in case something happens to me, who will there in my old age.
I think and think everyday that how will I go about building a better future.
I think of how would have life been if I were not an Orphan, If I were a normal child blessed with a Family.
My thoughts focus on some basic questions, What am I supposed to say to people when I meet them for the first time?? How am I supposed to face the Society???
I think about my friends, classmates and college mates ,all who are now happily married, well settled and blessed with children and I see myself single as usual.
I think of my Future, will be it be filled with Joy and Sunshine or Despair and Darkness?
I think of the places that life is going to take me too.
We Orphans feel, and as a Human being I definitely feel.The fact is that we have no one in this world to listen to our feelings and no one to reciprocate it, hence we internalize the same and go about living our life.
I feel emotionally deprived as I have not received a Human touch for many years, have never been cared or loved by anyone.
I feel the fear, the fear of dying a slow and a miserable death and that too all alone. Being an Orphan I know that i will have no one to be one my side and support me. I pray to god that if ever I am given death, it better be an immediate death, I don't want to die as a helpless man.
There are times when I do feel the need for Love, care and Affection more often when I see others around receiving the same but then I console myself that if destiny has denied me one thing there is something else that is in store for me.
And there are times when even a closed and rigid heart of mine gets feelings for someone but there is a fear of allowing someone in your life, the fear of rejection and being abandoned. I have been orphaned once cannot be orphaned twice.
As the years go by, it just seems that I am loosing my normal feelings day by day, becoming a rigid person. Don't know what person i will become when turn 50.
I get feelings of having a normal family, an understanding and caring wife and dotting children. A family where occasions and festivals are celebrated, a gathering where there is happiness all around. But then why do I forget that I am an Orphan??? We Orphans have no placed in the Society, we are unaccepted outcasts as per the norms of the Indian Society.
Aspirations, Dreams and Ambitions, anyone and everyone can have it. I also have some. After all no matter what happens, no one can take away your courage and self confidence.
I do aspire to work my way and attain excellence in my field of work.
I do aspire that one day I shall have a home , home of my own with my name plate inscribed on it and then I shall no longer be a Homeless destitute wandering here and there.
I do aspire that one I may come across and meet that special one with whom I will start a family, someone who will understand me and accept me for what I am. And then maybe I will never have to carry the tag of an Orphan.
This is Bhaveen Sheth Signing off for the Day , will be back with some more.
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