Monday, February 12, 2018

10 methods that Indian women use to abuse their spouses and boyfriends-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The Single Indian man shares a write up that he came across a popular website dedicated to address the problems of men facing dysfunctional marriages. Request all my readers to go through the same.
Does your wife yell, scream, and swear at you? Do you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about your relationship because they just wouldn’t understand? Is your relationship making you feel like you’re slowly going crazy?
If so, you’re probably involved with a woman who is an emotionally abusive bully. Most men don’t want to admit that they’re in an abusive relationship. They describe the relationship and their wife using other terms like crazy, emotional, controlling, bossy, domineering, constant conflict, or volatile. If you use words like this to describe your relationship, odds are you’re being emotionally abused.

Do you recognize any of the following behaviors?

1) Bullying. If she doesn’t get her way, there’s hell to pay. She wants to control you and resorts to emotional intimidation to do it. She uses verbal assaults and threats in order to get you to do what she wants. It makes her feel powerful to make you feel bad. People with a Narcissistic personality are often bullies.
Result: You lose your self-respect and feel outnumbered, sad, and alone. You develop a case of Stockholm Syndrome, in which you identify with the aggressor and actually defend her behavior to others.
2) Unreasonable expectations. No matter how hard you try and how much you give, it’s never enough. She expects you to drop whatever you’re doing and attend to her needs. No matter the inconvenience, she comes first. She has an endless list of demands that no one mere mortal could ever fulfill.
Common complaints include: You’re not romantic enough, you don’t spend enough time with me, you’re not sensitive enough, you’re not smart enough to figure out my needs, you’re not making enough money, you’re not FILL IN THE BLANK enough. Basically, you’re not enough, because there’s no pleasing this woman. No one will ever be enough for her, so don’t take it to heart.
Result: You’re constantly criticized because you’re not able to meet her needs and experience a sense of learned helplessness. You feel powerless and defeated because she puts you in no-win situations.
3) Verbal attacks. This is self-explanatory. She employs schoolyard name calling, pathologizing (e.g., armed with a superficial knowledge of psychology she uses diagnostic terms like labile, paranoid, narcissistic, etc. for a 50-cent version of name calling), criticizing, threatening, screaming, yelling, swearing, sarcasm, humiliation, exaggerating your flaws, and making fun of you in front of others, including your children and other people she’s not intimidated by. Verbal assault is another form of bullying, and bullies only act like this in front of those whom they don’t fear or people who let them get away with their bad behavior.
Result: Your self-confidence and sense of self-worth all but disappear. You may even begin to believe the horrible things she says to you.
4) Gaslighting. “I didn’t do that. I didn’t say that. I don’t know what you’re talking about. It wasn’t that bad. You’re imagining things. Stop making things up.” If the woman you’re involved with is prone to Borderline or Narcissistic rage episodes, in which she spirals into outer orbit, she may very well not remember things she’s said and done. However, don’t doubt your perception and memory of events. They happened and they are that bad.
Result: Her gaslighting behavior may cause you to doubt your own sanity. It’s crazy-making behavior that leaves you feeling confused, bewildered, and helpless.
5) Unpredictable responses. Round and round and round she goes. Where she’ll stop, nobody knows. She reacts differently to you on different days or at different times. For example, on Monday, it’s ok for you to check work email on your phone in front of her. On Wednesday, the same behavior is “disrespectful, insensitive, you don’t love me, you’re a self-important jerk, you’re a workaholic.” By Friday, it could be okay for you to do it again.
Telling you one day that something’s alright and the next day that it’s not is emotionally abusive behavior. It’s like walking through a landmine in which the mines shift location.
Result: You’re constantly on edge, walking on eggshells, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is a trauma response. You’re being traumatized by her behavior. Because you can’t predict her responses, you become hypervigilant to any change in her mood or potential outburst, which leaves you in a perpetual state of anxiety and possibly fear. It’s a healthy sign to be afraid of this behavior. It’s scary. Don’t feel ashamed to admit it.
6) Constant Chaos. She’s addicted to conflict. She gets a charge from the adrenaline and drama. She may deliberately start arguments and conflict as a way to avoid intimacy, to avoid being called on her bullshit, to avoid feeling inferior or, bewilderingly, as an attempt to avoid being abandoned. She may also pick fights to keep you engaged or as a way to get you to react to her with hostility, so that she can accuse you of being abusive and she can play the victim. This maneuver is a defense mechanism called projective identification.
Result: You become emotionally punch drunk. You’re left feeling dazed and confused, not knowing which end is up. This is highly stressful because it also requires you to be hypervigilant and in a constant state of defense for incoming attacks.
7) Emotional Blackmail. She threatens to abandon you, to end the relationship, or give you the cold shoulder if you don’t play by her rules. She plays on your fears, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, shame, values, sympathy, compassion, and other “buttons” to control you and get what she wants.
Result: You feel manipulated, used, and controlled.
8 Rejection. She ignores you, won’t look at you when you’re in the same room, gives you the cold shoulder, withholds affection, withholds sex, declines or puts down your ideas, invitations, suggestions, and pushes you away when you try to be close. After she pushes you as hard and as far away as she can, she’ll try to be affectionate with you. You’re still hurting from her previous rebuff or attack and don’t respond. Then she accuses you of being cold and rejecting, which she’ll use as an excuse to push you away again in the future.
Result: You feel undesirable, unwanted, and unlovable. You believe no one else would want you and cling to this abusive woman, grateful for whatever scraps of infrequent affection she shows you.
9) Withholding affection and sex. This is another form of rejection and emotional blackmail. It’s not just about sex, it’s about withholding physical, psychological, and emotional nurturing. It includes a lack of interest in what’s important to you–your job, family, friends, hobbies, activities–and being uninvolved, emotionally detached or shut down with you.
Result: You have a transactional relationship in which you have to perform tasks, buy her things, “be nice to her,” or give into her demands in order to receive love and affection from her. You don’t feel loved and appreciated for who you are, but for what you do for her or buy her.
10) Isolating. She demands or acts in ways that cause you to distance yourself from your family, friends, or anyone that would be concerned for your well-being or a source of support. This typically involves verbally trashing your friends and family, being overtly hostile to your family and friends, or acting out and starting arguments in front of others to make it as unpleasant as possible for them to be around the two of you.
Result: This makes you completely dependent upon her. She takes away your outside sources of support and/or controls the amount of interaction you have with them. You’re left feeling trapped and alone, afraid to tell anyone what really goes on in your relationship because you don’t think they’ll believe you.
You don’t have to accept emotional abuse in your relationship. You can get help or you can end it. Most emotionally abusive women don’t want help. They don’t think they need it. They are the professional victims, bullies, narcissists, and borderlines. They’re abusive personality types and don’t know any other way to act in relationships.
Life is too short to spend one more second in this kind of relationship. If your partner won’t admit she has a problem and agree to get help, real help, then it’s in your best interest to get support, get out, and stay out.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

From the writer's desk-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Greetings my dear single Indian male friends.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, eyeglasses and closeup

I hope you guys are doing good.We have entered into the year of 2018. I am sure you guys must have made many new year resolutions that you intend to follow. Wish you guys all the best. this years my blog completes five (5) years so I am happy to say that it is the 5th anniversary if my blog. five years back i decided to write on issues related to single Indian men, men's rights activism, gynocentrism, feminazi culture and a toxic hare generated towards Indian men by our media. This year we will be seeing a lot of trends with the Indian men. Listed below are a few:

A slow rise of the Indian MGTOWs

While the MGTOW movement is gaining momentum worldwide especially in the Western nations, India is still slow on this front. No matter what many single Indian guys say about being single, many fall out and get married. They can't resist the charms of a feminine beauty. But still there will be men who will remain sworn MGTOWs and keep on living a meaningful life.

A steep rise in the population of the left over Indian women

We are going to see more and more single left over Indian women in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Some will be unmarried and rest will be separated, divorced or single moms. They will become more ubiquitous especially in the metros. Their toxicity will rise and their vemon is will be spillled in the society destroying it further. Expect the social media, television channels and newspapers to be filled with the rants and whines of these women.

Indian men will be cheated in their marriages

Expect more Indian men to be cheated in their marriages. All of them will be marrying with noble intentions however post marriage they will realize the bitter truth. The wives will have a past, they  will start controlling their husbands. Marriages will break up, dreams will be shattered, bitter divorces will be fought in the courts and huge alimony settlements will take place.

Inception and amendments in anti-male, feminazi gynocentric laws

Considering that the Indian feminazis are now holding senior positions in the ruling government, judiciary, media and the NGOs along with their mangina male suckers, I predict that more laws will be made in order to terrorize the Indian men. Last year we had seen the #MeeToo movement that victimized many famous personalities in the entertainment industry of Hollwood and brought a slew of cases against them, the same will happen in India and the existing laws will be amended bringing in provision of harsh punishments to the innocent men.

This is all I have as of now. So my dear single Indian men, work hard, live your life, enjoy, chill out, stay away from dangerous Indian women and stay alert to be safe.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Words of wisdom for Indian women looking to get married-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian male came across a wonderful write up written by a fellow MGTOW on social media and would like to share the same with you:
So, You Want to be a Wife and a Mother??? Listen Up...

Hi. I'm Professor Cos. Ladies, I am going to begin with a quick disclaimer. The information I'm about to share is good news for very few, and bad news for the vast majority of you. However, what most of you can do, is exercise your altruistic muscle and pass this information on to the few undamaged women who can use it to prevent themselves from becoming ugly, disgusting pieces of filth like you.

So before you delusional dingbats, before you clueless, solipsistic, definers of relationships, before you self proclaimed social and moral arbiters, before you brainwashed, women's magazine reading, pop culture consuming, daytime talk show watching, self help book buying suckers, before you terminally immature, mentally dysfuntional, personality disordered, neurotic knuckleheads with zero self awareness, before you ignorant, emotional retards who understand little to nothing about the male psyche, before you self entitled, inconsiderate piles of vacuous dead weight get too excited thinking that you're about to learn some "quick tips" and "tricks" on "how to attract" the kind man that wants to "settle down" and be in a "committed relationship", take a deep breath and settle down, bitch. The information that I'm about to give is not for women who are looking to get what they want out of a man or how to manipulate a man into commitment. And it's most certainly not for women who are under the impression that all they have to do to score a decent man is find out where these types of men "hang out" or wait for their future husband to just "come along"!

Jeez, I haven't even started yet and I'm already having too much fun making fun of you idiot cunts!

This information is for the most part, for the next, next, next, next generation of wives and mothers. You see, the current generation of women are an epic fail, a lost cause. They are however, a giant success story for the social programmers. Amen to that! Now their daughters, who already have daughters, can grow up to be like mother, like daughter, which means more single mothers, more welfare queens, more whores, more sluts, more cluster b syndrome cluster fucks who will get their vaginas used by guys who give zero fucks! In other words, more sperm receptacles, more sperm depositories, more human toilets! MAN, I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE!!!

Now that I've taken out the trash, I can get to talking to the fortunate women who still have the chance to not only escape this depraved trap, but to rebuild the female image and run those harlots all the way out of town. Ladies, congratulations! It's time for the good news! Ladies, pay close attention! Ladies, no womanterrupting! This is your future we're talking about here!

The first thing you need to understand, is that sexual liberation dealt you a bad hand. Combine that with non religious men who don't need marriage to have sex, and you have an even bigger problem. You are a modern woman, welcome to your reality. You can choose to take advantage of that reality by spending your teens and 20's "playing the field" and getting free shit, in other words, benefiting from the reality that men just want to fuck you. Then you can spend your 30's looking for a man who wants more than sex while bitching about the kinds of men you benefited from who just want sex! And if you think that dumping your 30 year old ass on some guy who already has his shit together so that he can pay the price of commitment to a woman that other men got to have for free, you can go and join the long list of garbage women that I've just kicked to the curb.

Before I help you navigate through the tough situation that you're in, consider this... As soon as you sexually mature, you are confronted with a long line of men that just want to fuck you. Some of them think they want you, but it's just their bodies telling them to fuck you. Unless a guy learns about you prior to seeing your body, he's not really going to be interested in getting to know you. Well at least not before fucking you. At the point of seeing your body, dinner would already be on the table both literally and figuratively, and both his mouth and his dick will be watering. So don't bother torturing him with the boring conversation because he's not interested. He's hungry and he's horny, and anything that comes out of your mouth will go in one ear and out the other, and anything that comes out of his mouth will be said to get you within a closer proximity of his penis, ultimately resulting in vaginal penetration. If you think that your testing to see if a man wants you for more than sex or making him wait is a good idea, save yourself the trouble. You have no way of knowing whether a man wants you or just wants to fuck you. We are a sexually reproductive species and women are the fuck-ees. That reality precedes any type of modern dating ritual. Even the least primal person isn't going to want you before getting to know you, and non religious men don't abide by the rules against premarital sex.

The second thing you can do is spend your early years studying men from anything other than a solipsistic, emotional, fairy tale, prince charming, gentleman, "protector and provider", "real man" bullshit point of view. Also, get to know men who are unaware that you are noticing them, that way you can see them being their true selves. You will see and hear them doing and saying things that a typical woman who thinks she's a social and moral arbiter considers "gross" or "wrong" or any adjective used by a female to express her disapproval and display her ignorance for the masculinity that she considers "toxic". You will have the ability to distinguish between a decent guy and a guy that society tells you a decent guy should be. You will then learn how much work you need to do on yourself in order to be worth any amount of respect from the men you now understand that you once looked down your nose at.

Once you mature enough to be an adult female, not some indoctrinated princess who was raised in a culture that tells women that men owe them happiness, you will be able to invite the man you're interested in who is also looking to build a family to chat with you. It will be time for him to see if he likes your mindset and other personal attributes. Since you already know that you like him, you can let him know how much you understand him and other men in general, and you won't have to pound his head in with a bunch of questions about his future goals while he stares at your tits. Not only is that no way to talk to an adult, It's not smart, as you will be making it easier for guys to tell you what they think you want to hear. Oh, and dress down when you plan to meet him.

Lately I've been thinking that a wise, male relative is a good person to help a woman meet decent men, because let's face it, what the hell is some female dating coach or some stupid bitch who thinks she can screen out the bad apples really do? These broads are making bad decisions with men and dodging unwanted penises themselves. More proof that women need men in their lives!

Now that you know the amount of work you will be required to do just to become relationship material on top of the work it takes to find a decent guy for a long term relationship, there is another investment you will have to make, and that is a financial one. You will be contributing financially to this relationship. That means the place you will be living in, the expenses of raising children and everything else that requires money will be not be paid for by the "protector and provider" while you stay home cranking out kids and watching TV like a fat, useless bitch. Your purpose in life is not to be an anchor and chain around a man's ankle. Get off your motherfucking ass, and while you're at it, put some grown woman panties on them.

Men built and invented things so that you won't need men to be protectors and providers. You have national security, police officers, surveillance cameras, alarm systems, and hand held devices for protection, and you have capitalism to serve as your provider. Capitalism has produced the modern women that are starting to out earn the average working class male. Yet these same women want these same blue collar men who are the reasons why these same women live in the comfort they live in to earn more than them in order to be worth a second glance. And because these men don't make as much money as them, they bitch about being unable to find a man that's on their level. That's the inconsiderate, short sighted mindset of women that will tell any self respecting man everything he needs to know about how inconsiderate she will be in a relationship even if she finds a man who checks all these trivial, superficial boxes. People this selfish and inconsiderate won't be satisfied even if you give them the moon and stars.

Since you're going to have to be staying home until your youngest child is old enough to go to school, you need to find a way to make money. You're not going to be seeking a man who is already stable because you plan to have kids, and you're not going to be clogging up the workforce with your worthless, unreliable ass, just to quit or have emotional breakdowns because you want to spend more time with your kids. Work hard and invest in a small business or do something that allows you to stay at home or have your children with you. With the help and support of your partner, you can build a future together. Keep in mind that after all this is said and done, the law still holds the only the man accountable, and puts no responsibility on the woman for protecting and providing, which is why growing numbers of men are refusing to get married or have kids. Instead of wasting your time pelting mgtow with your ineffective shaming tactics, you might want to fight for your right to be treated by the law with equal relationship accountability like an adult instead of fighting for "equal rights" and "equal representation". The onus is on you to make that happen. No need for a fancy ending, get it?!

Shut up, no you didn't!
Hope you enjoyed it.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.
Bhaveen Sheth 

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Certainly not your caretaker,care giver and financial provider

Of course now that many Indian men are still single in their 30s and living a comfortable life, it is strange that we still get matrimonial alliances from prospective brides and of course their parents. 

Image result for indian men as caretakers for wives

No matter what the age may be, a single Indian man is always an eligible bachelor provided he is financially well off and settled in his life. Matrimonial interests will always come to him.Having said this, the single Indian man states that why should we even consider such matrimonial interests? I mean aren't we happy with our lives? We take care of ourselves, have a stable job, earn good money, have learnt important life skills like cooking, laundry and housekeeping and we focus on things beyond carnal desires, so why get married?

The truth is that we are not looking for a bride but it is the other side, the women and their parents looking for an eligible groom to marry of their daughters to. Many of these women are in their 30s and even in their 40 s ,still living under the protection of their parents. For some reason they could not marry at the right time and considering the present marriage scenario, there are many separated and divorced women present in the matrimonial market. These women and their parents are looking for some care taker, care giver and financial provider to take care of them. Parents of these women are worried and scared in what would happen to their daughters after their death. Who would take care of them? Indian society especially North Indian has a dubious distinction of ill treating single Indian women, it practices institutional apartheid of discrimination against these women. Other than 5 to 10 % of these single women, a majority are not financially well off and if you consider the ones who are single mothers , they are the most needy.

Cutting the long story short, the single Indian man advises his fellowmen to be careful before considering such matrimonial alliances. What appears to be sugar coated will turn later into acerbic bitter. Such people are just looking for a care taker,care giver and  financial provider. Why else would they show interest in you? You are financially well off and well settled. Isn't that the only criteria while deciding matrimonial alliances? Ask yourself, what value addition are these women bringing? Can they become good home makers? Can they cook, clean and take care of your homes? No!!! More than 50 % are some nut cases who are self obsessed, narcissistic and selfish. This is why they are still single. Never get sympathetic at those emotional parents of the daughter, they are just crying crocodile tears to get rid of their responsibilities and dump it over you.

We the single Indian men have struggled, sweated and worked so  hard to reach where we are. Just don't waste your life times savings and hard earned money on becoming someones care giver and financial supported when you will get nothing in return.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will come back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

Saturday, December 16, 2017


Many Indian girls in their late teens and 20's think that living a solo life will be a bliss.After all they have been inspired by the famous America television series "The sex and the city" and other romcom Hollywood movies. However real life is not that sugary and quite different from the fantasy shown on the screen.

Long time back I had written a blogpost on extremely high expectations of today's Indian women for marriage. You can find the link below:

However with such sky high expectations, unending checklists and lack of willingness to compromise and adjust makes them what is famously called as the " The leftover women". After crossing 30 their marriage prospects decline. Insecurity, frustration, dejection and depression become a part of their lives.

Solo life is not a bliss for Indian women, at-least not for the majority of single Indian women.There are these 5 to 10 % single Indian women who are financially well off and come from extremely rich and influential family background. They can have their way in life but the same in not applicable to majority of the single Indian women belonging to upper middle class and middle class background.

What started out as a rebellion against their parents has certainly backfired.What started as a right and fight for assertiveness, individualism and self determination has fizzled out and left these single women with nothing but criticism, pity and sarcasm.

Post 30, single Indian women never have it easy (at least not the majority). Many of these women still live in their parents homes.There are daily fights and arguments between these women and their parents.Parents want the daughter to get married, they criticize her for not getting married and clearly tell her how she has brought a bad name to the family. They compare their daughter with the daughters of their friends and relatives who have now got married and are well settled in their lives.Sarcasm, criticism and acerbic statements have now become a part of their lives. Toxicity has now become a part of their lives and they carry it with them.

Majority of these women do not have a promising career.They are just doing a job,you know the routine low level and mid level job where a person is expected to do routine work in stipulated time.There is no growth or future for them in these jobs but they stick on to it as they have no other option.

Festivals, events and social gatherings are out of bound for them.No one wants to invite these single women at these places.And even if they do get invited, they invite public shaming and criticism for not getting married and unwanted attention from married men who are looking for a fling.Married women see these women as threats to their spouses and keep them at bay.Over the time these women are sidelined from being invited at auspicious events. No one wants the presence of a barren unmarried single women at such events.

The feminist media keeps talking about single Indian women travelling solo.This all bullshit! maybe they are the ones who are in their 20's on a adventure, just forget the 30 and 40 plus category.Such women don't have the courage of taking up solo travel not o forget the parents who will not allow them.How do you expect such women to take up solo travelling when you they are bought up in an over protected environment with a lot of pampering.Putting another perspective in place, these women are not even healthy for taking up a solo travel. They are overweight and have other health issues that they have.And India is not a safe country for an Indian women travelling solo.

These single Indian women often come in the eyes of a lot of men, men who fall within their age bracket and above,These women are looked upon as an easily available sex objects especially by the married Indian men. The problem with these men is that they are stuck with fat wives who do not get give them their daily dose of sex, so these married Indian men pry on single Indian women thinking that they are game.These women often get signals, messages and invitations that are overtly perverted in nature.This happens to them wherever they go and by chance if these single Indian women are good looking and have taken good care of themselves, they will face harassment on a daily basis.

Like men, women too have carnal desires and no woman will ever deny this. Single life for women in India is not like the famous T.V sitcom "Sex and the City". Dating avenues are few and barring a few exceptions, a majority of the Indian women are not comfortable in getting sexually adventurous with a stranger.

They still believe that they will meet someone, fall in love with him, get married and have loads of sex with him, unfortunately that does not happen. Male brothels are non existent and gigolos are the privilege of the luxury class only. And the standards of these women have not fallen so low that they will fornicate with servants, drivers and office boys. Young men are not interested in them, teenage boys may try experimenting of them but this again comes at a grave risk, if caught  red handed they risk loosing everything. The only option for them are middle aged Indian men with pot bellies and sex with them is nothing less than a disaster.Left with  no options these women turn into celibates.Denied sex, these women suffer from mood swings and emotional disturbances.Emotional outbursts become a common behavioral trait.A human body that does not get adequate human touch ceases to be human after some time.

Unlike the benefits that single Indian men have, single Indian women are not able to take the benefits that come with a solo life. As mentioned earlier, solo travel is ruled out.Even eating out at a restaurant or watching a movie all alone is not possible without raising unwanted attention. An unaccompanied women all by herself is surely going to get unwanted attention and at worst an indecent invitation.

Love and romance is something difficult to come by for these women. A majority of the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes in India get married in their late 20's and early 30's.The Indian men who are still single in their 30's and 40's are the certainly not the best of the lot and even if they are good, they will have complicated lives or  carry their excess baggages (I am an example). Many of these single Indian women get disappointed when they come across such men as potential matrimonial alliances.These men are generally not good looking, short, obese, anorexic,some are divorced, some are widowers and some are single fathers with children from a previous marriage.Some men possess a lesser qualification while some just hold a below average mediocre job.These men may be good at heart but their traits don't make them eligible bachelors.Rejected innumerable times, these men are still single.So now you understand why do the single Indian women in their 30's and 40's find it difficult to get married.Compromising with their so called standards is something that these women are not willing to do.

As the years pass by, life becomes difficult for them. Social support diminishes, biological clock keeps ticking, worries keep mounting, feelings of loneliness and isolation seep in, desperation and dejection will become a part of their lives,some women have to rely on financial assistance provided by others,health problems start arising, days are filled with depression, parents pass away, siblings get busy in their own lives, best friends now get married, comparison with them brings a lot of pain and suffering, empty houses is what they get to live in and a lot more.

With this I end my post and if you are one of those single 30 or 40 plus women who have searched about happy being single as a 30 or 40 plus woman in India, please think again after reading my blog, life is not easy and it will get difficult for you over the years. Setting high expectations or standards will not bring you knight in shinning armour to you. Look at men for what they are, appreciate their love and affection, that is all that matters. 

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


Sunday, December 10, 2017

The bitter realities of the lives of Indian women who don't get married-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian Mgtow

Single hood, solo life and living alone has always been glorified in the Indian media by a bunch of self serving feminists and feminazis. But is it worth living single for Indian women? I guess not. The problem is no one shares the bitter realities of Indian women living alone and who chose not to get married or the divorced ones who walked out of a marriage and never got married. In ananymous post written below , a woman at the age of 45 has opened up about her life and shared the problems and pain of a woman living a life without marriage. Please read the post below:

Its difficult. Sorry its a little long but a little background. Hence broken into sections.
Here’s my story. I am 45 year old well educated Indian woman with a good career who has lived for long periods in the US and India.
Early life, twenties:
I was raised in India with the expectation that being married and being a mom was the most important part of a woman’s life - difficult to get away from it when its deep rooted.
I had grown up outside of my native state and did not relate to the traditional culture of my state. So had a lot of issues with my parents when I was teenager. When I was in my early twenties, my parents did not make any efforts to help me get married because I didn’t want to marry into my traditional culture. I was pretty and well educated, which was plus in my community. They did not attempt to persuade me that I might find someone who is not too traditional. I was a late born child so all their friends’ children were too old. My parents were also tight on money. Long and short I had very few proposals, hence when I got one or two I got married at 25 even though it didn’t feel right - I was afraid I may not get proposals.
The marriage and move to US:
The marriage was horrible - the worst of Indian husbands and in-laws and I figured it was better to be single than in a bad marriage and got divorced at 30. I was in the US. My parents lost my sister at the same time and since it made no sense for us to live in two different countries, they moved to the US. They were fortunately very supportive emotionally.
The thirties and dating:
Fortunately I did well career wise and financially. From the age of 30 to 40, I made a lot of efforts to get married again but it didn’t work for various reasons, I think as guys do better in life, their expectations of good looks increases and women’s good looks decrease. And whatever you say, many Indian men look for an “obedient” wife they want to dominate. I was fine with people who were not doing as well as me financially or career wise - I thought if the person was good to me it would be ok. But I found that the men I met didn’t feel comfortable. Some would lash out at me or be critical of me. Some wanted my money.
Social Ostracization
It was difficult to be making efforts and constantly get rejected. So many heartbreaks and disappointed. Added to that, my Indian friends in the US (friends when I was married) completely cut me out of their social circle because I think they only wanted to be friends with couples and families.
It hurt - because on one hand I was lonely and on the other hand I had no social life. Fortunately my parents were supportive, but it hurt to see them feel bad for me.
Move to India and afterwards:
At age 40, on one of my vacations to India, I decided to move to India. I felt there was no reason to stay in the US anymore. I had a better social life and thought I would adopt a child.
While I began the process I discovered to my surprise my mom was against it. I thought no one would understand better than her that I would be alone and she didn’t . So I thought once my career settled down in India I would move out and adopt a child. This took time.
Fortunately the social life was good. I had many friends and it never bothered me that I was single. They included me in all their social events.
People think its easier to be single in the US - its not. Its easier to be not married - but socially there is tremendous pressure to have a boyfriend or significant other - otherwise one gets left out.
Then when I was almost 42, my mom passed away suddenly. I put things aside and spent time with my dad. My dad was open to adoption but surprisingly he was hung up on South Indian child (we were South Indians). There had been an opportunity for a North Indian child but he asked me to wait.
These are difficult steps to take on one’s own and he had been supportive with other things so I went along. We didn’t find a South Indian and then the rules changed so I couldnt get the North Indian child either because I am a US citizen - its complicated and now am 45 years old too.
In between I had some health issues. They suspected a serious illness but fortunately it wasn’t. My poor old dad supported me through all this.
I have been on dating and matrimonial sites and find that today while there are many single or divorced men in their forties, they are looking for relationships without commitment. Unfortunately many women don’t mind this so there is no reason for men to change. So someone like me who is looking for a commitment finds it difficult. The ones who are willing to commit are looking for a gorgeous obedient wife. I may be good looking but it not as I was before. I think it will take a miracle for me to find a good relationship that I have given up on all this.
Today I live because I don’t want my dad to lose another child. I have a good career and good friends but no other family. I have no purpose. I have been trying to find interests and purposes for the last 16 years but haven’t. I don’t know if and how I will be able to live once my Dad is gone.
For all those single Indian women reading this post, think twice before your opt for a single life, chances are that things are not rosy as them seem to be in television sit coms or rom-com movies.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

The categories of Indian women you will meet during potential matrimonial alliances-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Greeting from the Single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth. Today I cam across a brilliant post written on qoura on the type of Indian women that you will met during matrimonial alliances. I am out of this game but I am sure many eligible bachelors reading this post have either experienced or will have an experience of meeting the two special categories of women  mentioned below:

It depends on which category of girl you meet. In India you will find two categories of girls. There is one category of girls who are goldiggers or parasites (that is the majority of girls in India anyways): they dont have any love for themselves nor others, nor they have any self respect. One of the first things they will ask you is how much you earn per year and what is your current bank balance (also if you live in your parents’ house and own a car) because the sole motivation of her getting married to you is that she can use you as her personal ATM machine for as long as she wants. Sometimes she may also ask you to go for a maths test to test your literacy level. If you belong to a different caste or religion than that of the girl it may lead to some hesitation on the part of the girl and her parents (like, a punjabi girl would marry only a punjabi guy or a muslim girl would marry only a muslim guy, stupid as it may sound, this is India!). But your financial worth is what will override all other shortcomings ultimately. If she and her parents are satisfied with your income, then she will “conveniently” fall in love with you and you will get “instant approval” from her parents too. You can be a total jerk but in India character of a man does not really matter as much as his bank balance and assets do. More often than not these women will also cheat on you when they find a ‘better’ (read richer) dude on the horizon who is interested in them, then take away all your assets, kids etc., with a divorce case full of trumped up charges. This is the kind of crowd who usually go for arranged marriages and avoid dating because they have nothing of value to offer to a man anyways. Their hobbies include watching stupid Ekta kapoor serials, shopping for items they dont even need, visiting beauty parlors twice a week and of course fighting with the husband for money. This is why arranged marriage sucks.
There is the other category of girls who have some self respect; they are independent minded and full confidence in their ability to run their own house and make a living by dint of their merit. They want a man for companionship, but they dont need a man. They are very intelligent and very often they hold excellent positions up in corporate ladder (often doing something creative) or are successful entrepreneurs/leaders. However, besides the fact that these kind of females form only 20% of the Indian female population, they are quite a confused lot when it comes to relationships. Thing is once upon a time these women used to believe in true love and all that but since then their heart has been broken by some guy and they still carry that scar on their heart like a tattoo. So, if a guy shows even mild interest in such a girl she pushes him away because she cannot trust guys anymore with her heart. These are the women you would want to mingle with, but bare in mind it would be extremely difficult for you to build a relationship with them (depending on how open they are to start a relationship).
This is the acerbic reality of today's times.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.